Sometimes, life is full of hope.
But sometimes, it feels like we are in the deep deep pit of mud where there seems no light or way out.
Why isn’t anything working out? What am I missing? How am I gonna get out of this?
If you ever feel that way, this one is for you.
You have all the reasons to feel whatever you’re feeling right now. Because the thing is you’ve put a lot of work and effort into the things that you want in your life. Not just that, but relentless hope in the unknown and the courage to work through the fog.
You’re not broken for feeling hopeless. You’re feeling exactly what you need to be feeling.
Breathe in, and breathe out.
Breathe in the golden light into your heart and let it sink in deep into your stomach as you breathe out.
The Question
The important part is: “Is this feeling telling me to rest, or is it telling me to change?”
Sucky feelings do not all serve as lessons. They sometimes are just chemical responses that you can manage by release, and sometimes there is more to it.
1. The Shitty Feeling
Some situations in life just simply suck. Like a sucker punch of suck-y sucker.
And… that’s all.
Nothing more, nothing less. And the suck-y situation doesn’t mean that you’re inadequate or a failure.
It just is shitty. And that is life. We have everything it takes to accept it, and start all over again. Because that is the only way we will make it. The persistence. The patience. But the ability to let go and start from scratch without dwelling on the stories is the dime here.
The Story of the Coastal Storm
Imagine you live in a beautiful house on the coast. Most days, the sun is out and the water is blue. But then, a storm rolls in. The sky turns grey, the wind howls, and the rain slams against your windows.
In that moment, everything feels “shitty.” You can’t go outside, your view is gone, and the house is shaking.
But here is the thing: The storm isn’t a sign that you built your house in the wrong place. It isn’t a sign that the ocean hates you, or that you’ve failed as a homeowner. It’s just “weather.” It’s a atmospheric response to pressure and heat.
If you try to “find the deeper meaning” in the rain, you’ll just get wet. If you try to yell at the clouds to stop, you’ll just lose your voice. The only thing to do is acknowledge: “It’s raining. It sucks. I’m going to stay inside, keep myself warm, and wait for it to pass.”
2. The Internal Compass
SOMETIMES, this feeling, this pain, this sensation, is your inner compass’s way of nudging you to a different path. It’s not your enemy. It’s showing you something.
It’s a feeling of “I am wearing someone else’s skin.” A sense of dread when you do something you “should” like, but actually hate.
This is when shifting from “things are happening to me” to “things are happening for me” comes useful.
The Lion and the Fox
Have you ever heard the story of a lion raised by a fox?
Imagine a lion that was raised by foxes. Because he’s surrounded by foxes, he tries to act like one. He tries to be small, he tries to scavenge, and he tries to yelp instead of roar.
But he feels terrible. He feels “fake,” “disconnected,” and “lost.” He thinks he’s a “broken fox.” He spends years in the jungle feeling like a failure because he can’t find joy in the fox’s life.
One day, he sees his reflection in a pool of water, or he hears a roar in the distance, and he realizes: The “shitty” feeling wasn’t a sickness. It was his Internal Compass. His body was making him miserable on purpose because he was a Lion trying to live in a Fox’s den. The misery was the compass needle pointing North, telling him: “This is not your truth. This is not your home.”
Making Peace with the Mess
The point here is that your pain is proof that you’re still alive.
Sometimes life feels like shit because you’re human; but sometimes it feels like shit because you’re a lion trying to eat grass with the foxes. Either way, this sucky feeling is one of the most honest parts of us.
It’s what we do when we feel those things that matter most. Not when things are good. It’s easy to be positive and confident when we are in a good spot. But most struggle when their shits hit the fan.
We can’t learn how to get through shitty feelings without letting them define our action without practice. We can’t really learn or read about it until we implement them and do them ourselves. Experiment with what works for us. How can we best meet those emotions in a way that we feel most aligned with ourselves?
Because at the end of the day, we cannot avoid those times as long as we are alive. So why not make peace with them?
The Truth
We are taught toxic shame, but we are never taught how to turn healthy shame into improvement. We are taught what is good and bad, and not what is. We are taught emotions are for the weak and we are never taught how to live in harmony with them.
But…
What if the ‘shitty’ feeling you’re trying to medicate away is actually the only honest part of you left? What if it’s the only part of you that’s still fighting to get you out of the fox’s den?
